As the years go by, I notice more people -- especially younger friends and relatives -- don't respond to my RSVP request. Why is that? Do they not know what RSVP means? Is it polite to follow up with the non-responses through a call or email to confirm their attendance and if they are bringing additional guests? Tina, Chicago, IL

Dear Tina,

Unfortunately, this seems to be a growing trend and huge frustration for host and hostesses across the country. From wedding invitations, to children’s parties guests seem to have forgotten what it means to RSVP. This can cause huge problems – will you have enough food, goodies bags and chairs, to name a few.

After a reasonable amount of time call the guests who have not responded. express your concern that they did not receive your invitation, and issue the invitation verbally.

RSVP does mean the invitee should reply. They have an obligation to respond whether they are attending or not. “Regrets only” means the invitee only needs to reply if they are not attending. However, especially in this day and age, RSVP ensures a more accurate count.

This growing trend as resulted in interesting responses from hosts and hostesses. Some have elected not to invite the offenders to their home again. Others have started to include a special note sharing with the invitee how a timely RSVP is essential to insure there is enough food, room, favors etc. for the event. Many are starting to use reply cards.

Whatever the reason a guest doesn’t RSVP, too busy, forgot, not sure they want to attend, it is very poor manners and inconsiderate to the host or hostess.

Debra

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